Limitless Monday – 10 dates in 10 days

Limitless Monday – 10 dates in 10 days

 

 

Everyone has their own opinion on which dating platform is the best. Grindr was one dating platform a friend suggested would be ideal for my requirements. I quickly discovered it’s a dating app for gay men. Who knew… Another is Ashley Madison, a site for men looking to cheat on their wives. I ruled this one out when I figured that firstly I am not the cheating kind and secondly most of the females are either bots or are employees working for Ashley Madison. Another is Double List, a website populated by the debauched and the fraudulent.

 

I settled on Match.com, a site I had once signed up to a few years back but had discontinued my membership after I met a woman at a yoga class.

 

The one thing I know about online dating is that it involves a significant commitment of time. Setting up your profile, searching for matches, making contact with your favored picks, navigating fake profiles and scammers and, of course, the dating part. The aim is to find someone who you can date on a long term basis unless you are a serial data, then Tinder is probably more your cup of tea.

 

I signed up for Match on Thursday. I did not delay, sending out a bunch of likes to a range of women, and a few personalized messages. “It’s a numbers game,” my friend told me. He had met his perfect match after 3 dates. Most of my messages and likes got ignored. When a reply finally pops into your inbox your adrenaline starts pumping. The problem is my “form” must be below par as 70 percent of the women who did reply lost interest after my next message to them.

 

However, following the numbers game philosophy, I continued to send out more likes. I began to develop a filter process. If someone said to me that they liked a particular restaurant or bar I would respond, “Maybe we can meet there for our first date.” If they replied along lines of “Let’s do it,” it’s a sign they have an adventurous spirit. If, however, they reply with, “Let’s see,” it’s an instant “BLOCK.” Life’s too short.

 

My first date was scheduled for Wednesday. We met at a bar in Grand Central Station. The bar overlooked the main hall of this magnificent building. I got there 90 minutes early as I had just finished a Jiu-Jitsu class and a large gin and tonic after a heavy workout seemed to be a pleasurable indulgence.

I sat at the bar, and within 5 minutes I struck up a conversation with an attractive Asian lady. She had been the personal assistant to Dana White, the head of the UFC, someone I know of and admire (apart from his apparent wife beating!). She was compelling company until she had to rush off and get her train.

However the stool was quickly taken by another attractive woman drinking a gin and tonic to cool herself down after escaping the humidity of Manhattan. By the time my date showed up I was 4 gin and tonics in. Drinking anything more than 2 stiff drinks before a date is probably unadvisable, as you can believe the date went better than it did. Even more dangerous: you could make the age-old mistake of thinking your date is more attractive than the reality. We arranged a second date.

 

Next, I arranged a date with someone who lived locally. A few hours before the rendezvous, she messaged me to tell me something had come up at work. She then disappeared off the radar. Friday night, my date didn’t show up at the bar we were scheduled to meet at. I was a little irritated by this and tried to call her after waiting for two hours and drinking five beers. When she didn’t pick up I sent her a text message. “You are a bit of a c**t”.

 

The next morning while working out, she messaged me. She told me how sorry she was. She explained that she had been to the dentist and had two teeth extracted. She then went home to take a nap and didn’t wake up again until 1am. I agreed to meet with her at 2pm for a walk on the beach. She showed up 15 minutes late and the first thing she said when I greeted her was, “I can’t believe you called me a c**t”. The date lasted 40 minutes. There was no chemistry.

 

That evening I arranged to meet an Albanian hair salon owner. I arrived at the bar 30 minutes early. She arrived looking very glamorous. Too glamorous. Without hesitation she asked to move from the bar to a table. I should have walked out there and then. One of my pet hates is a woman who always wants to sit at a table or booth as opposed to sitting at the bar. It is a sign they have the personality of a dried up prune. We got on fine, the conversation was free flowing, but there was no chemistry.

 

The next day I went on the second date with the lady who I met at Grand Central Station the previous Wednesday. We took a cable car to Roosevelt island, visited an old Lunatic Asylum, and then went for a drink on the top floor of a hotel which boasted the most impressive views of Manhattan. While I liked this lady, I didn’t find her attractive. As she was talking I began to think, “Could I kiss her?” The answer I returned was a resounding “No.”There would be no third date.

 

I lead a very clean life. I work, I train Jiu-Jitsu, and I go to the gym. I rarely drink, and I am in bed most nights by 10pm and rise at 5am. By Sunday, I had the first signs of a cold, and by Tuesday my cold was raging. The deviation from my routine had taken its toll.

 

By Friday I was back in action. The previous week, I had spotted what looked like the perfect profile, for me. Apart from a very attractive picture, her profile said she liked martial arts. I messaged her, and to my surprise she replied. She told me she practiced Jiu-Jitsu and was in fact the same belt as I. We arranged a call. I instantly had a connection with her helped by the fact she liked English comedy, particularly movies about soccer hooligans. Something I have a fondness for, too.

 

We arranged to meet near her work at 5.30pm. I had high hopes. Within 30 minutes, she demonstrated her favorite Jiu-Jitsu take down as I tried to maintain my balance on the bar stool. When I told my son about how she had choked me in the bar he announced, “She sounds like the female version of you.”

 

We were ejected from that first bar when she tried to jump on my bar stool. With me on it. The chemistry was amazing. The date was by far the most memorable of any date going back to when I first started dating aged 18. We agreed to meet again as she climbed in the back of her Uber at 1.30am.

 

I woke up the next morning with a hangover and a smile. I had also come to a decision, I would stop my search. She just could be the one. It’s a lesson to me that taking that first step in any endeavor can lead to unexpected adventures that can potentially change your life. The key is to take that first step.

 

Happy Monday!

 

Banner Image: Dating. Image Credit – Yianni Mathioudakis