Limitless Monday – The Importance of Loyalty

Limitless Monday – The importance of loyalty

 

 

While searching for my perfect partner the one question that was asked a lot is, “What is the one quality you are looking for in a woman?” I didn’t need to think for long; it was loyalty.

 

We can all say we are loyal friends, partners, or parents, but the real test comes when the shit hits the fan.

 

Loyalty is the one thing that has been lacking in all my relationships to date. It’s a quality that is hard to find. However, once found, never let it go. It’s like striking oil!

 

I’ll give you a few examples of my own personal experiences with loyalty.

 

A few years back, I was dating my lawyer. I didn’t give loyalty much consideration then. We got on well together, until she started drinking. One day I went on a week-long self-discovery course. I was having some legal issues at the time and asked Mary, my lawyer and girlfriend, not to send certain files to the opposing lawyer who had subpoenaed them. They were irrelevant to their investigation, I explained. To ensure my wishes were carried out, I gave the same instructions to my IT manager along with specific key words which would help her remove those files. When I returned from the relaxing self-help course, the first thing I did upon entering the office was go see the IT manager. “Did you send the files?” I asked. “Yes,” she replied. “Did you exclude the files I told you about?” “No,” she responded, “Mary told me to send everything.”

 

When my soon to be ex-girlfriend asked me, “How are you feeling after your vacation?” I replied, “I am amazed how fantastic I feel after discovering you sent all those files over when I gave you specific instructions not to.” She started to stutter, as she hunted for a plausible explanation. “Leave it,” I said, “It doesn’t matter.”

 

I was obviously disappointed, but I knew there and then there was no loyalty here. She demonstrated it a second time when she gave evidence against me in court a few years later.

 

My ex-wife once said, “If you ever go to prison, don’t expect me to wait for you.” I never forgot those words, I knew at that point there was no loyalty here either.

 

Loyalty is only demonstrated in bad times, when stress levels rise and the people who are supposed to be your supporters begin to desert what they believe is a sinking ship. When the ship starts to right itself, some of the jumpers try to explain why they deserted and look for redemption; most are too embarrassed and stay away.

 

I had a business partner once. Our business was struggling in its first two years, and during this challenging period, I had a fall out with one of our joint venture partners. Andrew, my business partner, went along to meet with them to defuse the potentially explosive situation. I warned him before he left: “They are going to try to set you against me. This is going to be the biggest test of our partnership.”

 

Sure enough, when he returned from the meeting he confirmed they had done exactly that. They had demanded he sever his relationship with me. He fought back. He reminded them that we had a copy of their client database. If they continued to cause us problems we would write to every single client telling them what a bunch of incompetents they were. They would be out of business within a week. That is what I call loyalty.

 

While loyalty is hard to find, the one place where you will find it is with your parents and children. They rarely judge, accepting you for who you are. My parents and children have been fiercely loyal. I am also fiercely loyal to them. Cherish this loyalty, and never take it for granted. Your parents are not going to be around forever.

 

I have a narrow circle of friends. I remove the ones who can’t be trusted or the ones who believe the world revolves around them. The few friends I do have are loyal, supportive, and inspire me when the world is looking like a dark and bleak place. They have all done amazing things for me,  and I would do the same for them.

 

Any relationship without loyalty is an acquaintance. If someone has demonstrated their disloyalty, there is no going back. Your next step is to work out how you push them overboard. Your close circle only has room for fiercely loyal people.

 

If I asked 100 people if they counted themselves as loyal, the answer would come back 100 times in the positive. However, in my experience 98 of those 100 people have the loyalty of a scorpion. Your mission is to find the 2 and keep them close.

 

Happy Monday!

 

Banner Image: Loyalty. Image Credit – sweetlouise