Limitless Monday – What’s Best Advice You Ever Received?

Limitless Monday – What’s the best advice you ever received?

 

 

 

I’m not an avid user of Instagram, but there are a few themes that appear regularly on my “feed” which entertain and motivate me. Among the subjects that the Instagram algorithm has deemed appropriate are Jiu-Jitsu flavored wrist locks, motivational and inspirational speeches, fitness videos, and relationship advice.

 

 

It is the latter which inspired this week’s article.

 

 

One video which caused me to stop, think, and replay was titled, “The best advice I received.” According to the gentleman concerned, an old man had once told him, “Date the girl that likes you, never date the girl you like. If you date the girl that likes you she will go out of her way to make sure you are good and never cross you. If you date the girl you like, you are going to tolerate more BS and you are going to have headaches because of it.”

 

 

This is no doubt thought provoking advice despite it being delivered by an obese man wearing a wife beater. Never judge a book by its cover would be the advice derived from this anecdote.

 

 

Now that we are on the subject of relationships, another piece of relationship advice that has stuck with me over the years was delivered by an old friend who once said his father had told him that he believed the best relationships are the ones where the man loves the woman more than the woman loves the man. The happy couple have been together for over fifty years last time I checked.

 

 

I decided to ask a few people I know the most important advice they have received and live by. Before we get onto that, however, let’s start with the most important advice I follow, advice that is always at the forefront of my mind.

 

 

The first is something my father regularly tells me. “Be careful what you wish for.” I am not totally convinced about this one, although it sits with me, monitoring every decision I make.

 

 

The second piece of advice that maintains my positivity even when the world appears at its bleakest is, “Always ask, what is good about this?” I use this whenever a seemingly bad event happens to me. I believe there is good in every event. It may not be apparent at the time, but eventually you will find the goodness in it. The hard part is maintaining your faith during the difficult phase when you are experiencing pain. Most people can’t tolerate short term pain and give up before they get a chance to enjoy the spoils.

 

 

That brings me to the first piece of advice furnished by my girlfriend.

 

 

“Trust the process.” This dovetails neatly into the idea of maintaining the faith that good will come of supposedly bad events.

 

 

It also reminds me of a story from my formative years. I was working as a trainee accountant at the time when a senior co-worker asked me what I saw myself doing ten years from then. The question derived from the fact that I didn’t take my job particularly seriously, a fact she recognized when she saw me climbing out of a stationary cupboard after hiding from my boss for ten minutes. “I’ll be a multi-millionaire,” I responded without hesitation. She looked at me mockingly and said, “How are you going to do that?”

 

 

“I don’t have a clue,” I responded. I trusted the process. And the process never failed me. I made my first million five years later.

 

 

My mother offered the following important advice, “Don’t let other people influence your decisions.”

 

 

I found that advice more positive than that shared by my co-worker and a childhood friend. “Don’t plan that far ahead,” and “Life is short, whatever time you get is luck.”

 

 

My father shared advice learned from his native Yorkshire, England.

 

 

“If tha dus owt for nowt tha dus it for thee sen.”

 

 

That translates to, “If you do anything for nothing, you’re doing it for yourself.”

 

 

“Hear all, see all, say nowt,” was another.

 

 

My Jiu-Jitsu sensei kindly shared his own worldly advice, “Loyalty goes beyond friendship or family. It’s a code you should never break to someone who is as loyal to you.”

 

 

Loyalty is hard to find. Most friends are fair weather friends. As soon as a tough decision is required, they tend to focus on what is good for them. If the shit hits the fan they drop you like a hot stone. Fortunately, not everyone is like that. Those are your true friends.

 

 

My friend Vinny told me the best advice he ever received was from his father who said to him, “Stop with all the women, get married and have a family.” Vinny chose to ignore this advice. He tells me he often thinks back and believes it is advice he should have followed.

 

 

I will end with the advice shared by another good friend who told me, “Where there’s no gain, a loss is guaranteed.”

 

 

This one requires a little more thought than the others. In essence it means saying more won’t help you, it will hurt you. By following this advice you avoid the danger of talking yourself out of the deal, a job, or the girl/boy, by adding unnecessary words when you’ve already won.

 

 

You can tell a lot by the advice someone follows. It can and does dictate the direction of your life. Choose your advice carefully. If you want a life of limitless potential, your advice will require the same qualities.

 

 

Happy Monday!

 

Banner Image: Damn Good Advice. Image Credit – frame harirak