Limitless Monday: Life Is Unfair! But Is It Really?
Limitless Monday – Life is unfair. Is it really?
How many times have you heard someone exclaim “Life is unfair!”?
That cry of desperation is usually followed with, “I am so unlucky!”.
Like you, I have heard this said many times. Fortunately, I am not a user of these phrases. It wasn’t until very recently that I started to contemplate the reality behind that phrase. The question I want to ask you this Monday morning is, is life really unfair?
My conclusion is: Life is hard, but fair.
The phrase in question could be used as a reaction to a number of events:
Losing your job
An early death in the family
Money problems
Business going bankrupt
Legal issues
Diagnosis of an illness, etc.
All of these events can lead to the belief that luck is not on our side, that you are destined to a life of failure. “These things always happen to me” mentality.
Sometimes when something apparently bad happens to me, I often react with the same negative thoughts as most others. However, the difference is, I don’t let myself ponder on these useless thought patterns for long.
I have written about taking responsibility in previous articles. Nowhere is that more relevant than in today’s discussion. It’s not Lady Luck or that life is unfair that has caused these events to happen to us; we are totally responsible. Let’s take each event in turn.
Losing your job – your performance at work was undoubtedly the problem. That is something you can fix.
Money problems – managing your money is obviously a weakness. Get a second job if required. Budget your expenses and cash flow, rent a smaller apartment. Stop buying stuff online and smashing your credit card.
Business going bankrupt – overspending on a fit out, poor marketing, over reliance on a bad manager, hands off management, lack of focus. Again you can fix these or worst case ensure that next time is different.
Legal issues – whether this involves personal or commercial disputes they can all be avoided. Improved negotiation skills, treating people fairly. Discuss problems early before they turn into fully fledged disputes as opposed to letting them fester.
Diagnosis of an illness – unhealthy eating habits, overindulging in alcohol or drugs, lack of exercise. Again, the fix is under your control.
When something apparently bad happens, it is totally your responsibility. However as I have said before, there is no such thing as something bad happening to you. That is where we must turn our thinking on its head.
Rather than believing life is unfair, we should be thinking, this event is good for me. It’s a wake up call. It’s an opportunity to take a better route; it’s a chance to find a more suitable life partner or friend; it’s an opportunity to start a new business or begin an exercise regime.
Life is not unfair because we are the cause of our apparent misfortune, not the universe. And, in fact, these events which we believe are unlucky are not bad luck at all; they are good for us. We just have to change our mindset, be willing to take advantage of the opportunities that arise from challenges, and look at every challenge as a possibility.
Obviously there are some possible exceptions to the life is fair rule.
A meteorite hitting you on the head as you walked to work could be one. Although I would say that was a case of you being on the wrong side of the law of probability rather than life being unfair.
The same applies if you were driving to work and you get sideswiped by a drunk driver. It’s a random event, not a case of bad luck or life being unfair. It’s like playing roulette in Vegas. Each spin of the wheel is a random one. The outcome of each spin has nothing to do with the previous spin.
In other words, if you get knocked out by a meteorite, dust yourself off, walk to the local store and buy a lotto ticket. The chances of you winning haven’t changed.
So with that said, on this Monday morning I want you to remember the phrase ‘what is good about this’ whenever a challenge or what on first contact seems a bad event crosses your path.
There is something good in every event. Even that meteorite knocking you out will have a silver lining. Next time you hear someone say life is unfair, remind them and yourself, that life is hard, not unfair.
You can handle hard!
Happy Monday!
Banner Image: Seeing the good. Image Credit – FotografieLink
Harry Maximillian
Harry is an author, coach, entrepreneur, comedian and a convicted felon. Harry was sent to prison for a financial crime where he spent five long years. Prison allowed Harry to realize the error of his ways. He decided to use his time productively and mobilize his extraordinary determination, dedication, drive, motivation and desire to focus on writing and the art of self-improvement. Before Harry’s enforced vacation he was one of the most prolific deal makers in the City of London.
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