Limitless Monday – Low On Confidence?

Limitless Monday – Low on confidence?

Confidence can be the difference between massive success and dismal failure. You could be the most talented sports person in the world, in the best condition of your life, and if your confidence fails you, a loss is almost guaranteed.

Loss of confidence can affect all of us from young children to senior citizens. Loss of confidence isn’t necessarily permanent, although it can be. Loss of confidence is generally a wavering of your self-assurance that returns with time and remedial action.

Having a high level of confidence doesn’t mean you have to walk around with your chest puffed out wearing sunglasses in dark places, donning a flamboyant shirt and talking loudly. A confident person can be quite easily the person who sits in the corner and keeps to himself. I prefer the latter to the former, although the former can be fun to watch in moderation.

The question for this article is: How do we gain confidence if it has left us? And how do we acquire it if we never possessed it?

Confidence is all a matter of process.

Let’s say you are a salesperson who suffers from anxiety when contemplating making a sales call. It’s a common problem. And it is something that must be overcome if you wish to continue in employment and progress in your chosen career.

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The reality is you must pick up the phone. However, you have two choices. Take your time between calls, procrastinate, drink coffee, go for a walk around the office, pick your nose. That choice leads to minimal calls and few sales. By definition you will never overcome your confidence problem by following this route. It will only get worse. The other choice is you make one call after the other. You don’t think about your last call; you just start dialing again. You may start with zero confidence, but if you follow this method your confidence will grow from that second call.

This approach works in every aspect of your life. I heard someone say the other day that the most successful people have a common trait. They have low introspection. That means they don’t think about how they are feeling, they just get on with it. That is what you must do to build confidence and achieve your mission.

Let’s say you are a sports person. If you want to improve at anything, practice is the key. A hobbyist enjoys the game; improving is important, but it’s not the be all and end all. He or she isn’t too concerned with their weaknesses; they are more focused on having fun. The next level is the competitor, the person who takes things more seriously. They want to enjoy their sport, however, their priority is to win. The most successful competitors have low introspections. They don’t spend time analyzing their feelings and complaining that they don’t feel great, so today they will have a break from training. They treat their chosen sport as most of us treat using the bathroom. It has to be done.

The same lesson applies in all walks of life, from entrepreneurs to public speakers, from politicians to lawyers. Even those in search of a relationship.

There are two kinds of confidence. Your general confidence and confidence towards a specific skill. These two confidences overlap. If you are confident in your career, for example, you are likely to be confident in life. However, throw you into unfamiliar territory, your level of confidence will either sink, swim, or tread water.

Your general confidence is key; everything stems from that.

There are a number of important steps you must take in order to build and maintain your general confidence.

Firstly, concentrate on your strengths. We all have them. Losers focus on what they are bad at. They can’t see past their obstacles. They whine and complain about what they believe are their failings. With a quick change of focus on their strengths and qualities, that loser mentality evaporates rapidly.

Secondly, set goals. Yes, all the self-help books say this, but someone with a goal is more likely to achieve that goal than someone who has no plans, no goals, and lets others determine the use of their time.

Next, smarten yourself up. If you are walking around looking like a scarecrow with a beer belly, then you are not likely to be feeling good about yourself. Join a gym, start Jiu—Jitsu or Muay Thai. Get a hair cut and buy a new wardrobe. If you have blue hair, a nose ring, and walk around with your pants halfway down your ass, you are not ready for my advice.

Next, practice what you want to be good at. Read all the books, watch all the YouTube videos, and complete all the online courses on your chosen subject until you know your subject better than anybody. Being able to say you are the best comes at a price. Hard f*cking work! Most people won’t go that extra mile. You however are different!

Finally, it’s time to drop the friends and acquaintances who are negative. The ones who you can honestly say are not supportive of your goals and ambitions. The people who regularly put you down. Dump these people quickly, and focus on building a network of high achieving positive influences.

Confidence is all about belief. But having belief without taking action will lead you to look back on your life when you hit 50 and think, “Where did it all go wrong?” I’ll tell you now where it went wrong: you were a dreamer not a doer! The future is in your own hands my friends.

Happy Monday!

Banner Image: Confidence. Image Credit – Blake Weyland