Limitless Monday – The Curse of Bullies

Limitless Monday – The curse of bullies

I was on the New York subway the other day traveling home from work. As I stepped on to the packed train I noticed that there was one seat free. It was going to be a long journey so I rushed towards the empty seat on a mission to sit there ahead of two stragglers with similar ideas. There was one small problem. There was a tall, let’s call him a gentleman for now, standing in front of the seat with what I assumed was his backpack resting on the adjacent seat. He clearly didn’t want anyone sitting in the second seat. “F*ck that!” I thought and I pushed him out of the way and sat in the vacant seat. Then it started. Through my headphones I could still make out the aggressive words emanating from the man standing in front of me. I ignored him to begin with but the abuse continued. I then took off my headphone, stared into the annoyed man’s eyes and said, “What’s your problem?” He told me that I had hit him with my bag. I replied, “This is the f*cking subway, get over it,” he became more vocal. I looked at him and said, “I don’t understand a word you are saying.” I put my headphones back on and prepared myself for action. It turned out to be a case of all talk, no action.

Bullies are not just a school phenomenon. They inhabit every stage of our lives. Parents bully their kids, husbands bully their wives, bosses bully their co-workers.

I don’t tolerate bullies. In general I keep my head down and get on with my life. I don’t go looking for trouble. However, when trouble comes knocking I am prepared to respond swiftly, firmly, and without warning.

I was sitting on a train once headed to work. I had placed my coat on the seat opposite. A man got on and picked up my coat and threw it at me and proceeded to sit down in the same seat as my coat had once occupied. I was speechless. Words were too good for him. In fact I couldn’t speak. I was so outraged. All I could think about was what kinds of acts of violence he deserved. I sat there trying to read my newspaper however all I could think about was what I was going to do to him. I hatched a plan. When he stood to get off the train and prepared to take the step down from the train to the platform, I stood behind him and pushed him off the train. He flew across the concourse. I was ready for him to turn and confront me but he disappointed me by walking away without even turning to look round. He would think twice before doing anything like that again.

In prison intimidation and bullying is rampant. Someone once told me, these people believe this place is their home. And they act accordingly. They jump lines assuming that the rules of etiquette don’t apply to them. They make incessant noise without any consideration for others. Of course if you were to do the same they would immediately get into your face and threaten violent retribution.

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One time I was standing in line ready to use the phone. A nasty looking gangbanger jumped the line and proceeded to pick up the phone. “Hey!” I shouted. A fellow prisoner who was standing behind me said quietly, “Leave it. It’s not worth it.” However I was incensed.

“Hey!” I shouted again. “You jumped the line.”

“No, I was here first”. He lied.

“In your dreams,” I replied indignantly.

“Are you calling me a liar?” He asked.

“Of course I am!” I replied knowing things were going to get out of control fast from here, but I couldn’t help it.

Then it started.

I was bullied when I was 9 years old by a bigger boy who played rough and detected any signs of weakness. I came home one day with bruises all over my legs after he pushed me between two wooden boards I happened to be climbing over.

I told my mother what had happened after she noticed the bruising and she reacted by berating the head teacher.

The next day that same teacher called me out in the middle of class and said, “Can’t you solve your own problems?”

I was embarrassed and humiliated. There was only one course of action for me. It was time to take her advice and solve my own problems. The next time the bully attacked me I hit him. It got to the point where we were fighting practically every day. When the same teacher took me aside to punish me for my latest act of violence I reminded her of what she had said. She had no choice but to turn a blind eye to the daily violence.

That was a turning point in my life. If you are a victim of bullying, however mild, you must find your own turning point. Bullies smell weakness. It is your posture, how you talk. You must build confidence and that starts by pushing back. Decide you are not taking it anymore and at the first sign of bullying hit back immediately either verbally or if you must physically. Even if it ends with you getting a beating, get up and continue fighting back.

These people have their own issues and are probably unhappy and unfulfilled, but to be honest I couldn’t give a sh*t about their problems. If they overstep the mark then make sure they think twice before ever doing it again.

Happy Monday!

Banner Image: Don’t be bullied. Image Credit – David Taffet