Limitless Monday – What I Learned Going to Prison, 8 Lessons

I am currently reading a book called “What I Learned Losing a Million Dollars.” That got me thinking… What did I learn from going to prison?

I want to share with you eight lessons I learned from my three years in prison. As a side note, my first year was served in an African high security prison while the last two I resided in an American detention center in the heart of the Big Apple, not far from Wall Street. I believe these lessons apply to all of us whether or not you are reading this from the top bunk of a cramped cell or a ski lift heading up the Swiss Alps.

Prison was an eye opener for me, an opportunity to reassess and reset. I hope my lessons provide the same opportunity for you without you ever having to see a pair of leg irons or the sound of a whistle at 6am!

Lesson #1

It’s too easy to give up, however, you must fight the urge to lay down your guns and crawl into the fetal position. Never give up!

When I was arrested and thrown into a dark hot cell on a scorching day in July in North Africa, I thought my life was over. My world had caved in. I couldn’t think straight. Everything was dark. The first thought I had was how my children would cope with having me yanked away from them.

I probably wouldn’t see them again, I contemplated. I didn’t cry, but I was beyond sad. My only thought during these early moments of my incarceration was of my children. Not all the money and possessions I would lose. As I sat on a concrete bench surrounded by a crowd of disheveled, toothless prisoners, I became aware of my growing hunger and dehydration partly brought on by a night of drinking before my impromptu arrest.

What stopped me from giving up was an act of kindness from one of my fellow prisoners. He stepped forward and handed me some bread and a bottle of water. My heart melted right then and there. My faith that I would extract myself from this situation was restored. I knew I was walking into the unknown, but I was ready!

Lesson # 2

My children are the most important thing in the world.

We spend most of our waking hours chasing success, building wealth, and searching for pleasure. But when the sh*t hits the fan, none of that is important. It’s your children, that you fear losing, which occupies your mind. If you don’t have children, then it’s your parents, and if your parents are no longer around it’s your freedom, but that’s lesson #3.

The lesson here is never take your children for granted. Your children take priority over any important meeting or nights out. Get your priorities right now. Prison was my wake up call. It’s a rehearsal for what’s waiting for you on your deathbed. You have options now, but you won’t if you continue to neglect your real priorities.

Lesson #3

Don’t take freedom for granted.

The freedom to choose what you do today. The freedom to travel, to decide which hobbies to pursue, which friends to hang out with.

All these freedoms disappear the day you enter those heavy steel doors. We take our freedom for granted. We walk around feeling and looking glum, complaining about the weather, moaning about the animals on the subway, the noise of the neighbors dog, the bad tempered bartender. In prison you are grateful to feel the rain on your head; you would give your small toe to have a day out on the subway. Open your eyes, take in the view. Appreciate the countryside, the ocean, the cows, the city skyline. One day those pleasures will be taken away from you. Snap out of your dark mood; you are wasting time!

Lesson #4

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Do more of what you miss the most.

The lesson for me here is to be grateful for the things I missed doing the most and to prioritize them when given another chance.

My list included: seeing my children, meeting my mother for Sunday lunch, calling my father to check in on him, playing tennis, going to the gym, a few rounds of boxing, an English country pub, a Greek taverna.

Lesson #5

An opportunity to reset.

One aspect of prison that is most often complained about is boredom; you have so much time on your hands. I had ample time to think about what I would like to do more of when given a second chance. That included learning a language, mastering the martial art of Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, and writing. I also wanted to eat more healthily and cut out alcohol.

Prison is a chance to reset. You can reset your life without having to experience prison. It’s something we should all do in order to inject juice into our life.

Some of the people I met in prison promised themselves that when they were released they would begin rising at 5 am every morning. A few vowed to get fit, others planned to start a business. Without prison, they would not have had this opportunity to reset. The problem is upon release most inmates take the path of least resistance and return to their old ways. It’s a wasted opportunity.

Lesson #6

Don’t forget the consequences of your actions.

I was blessed with many opportunities in my life, more than most. We all have a choice how we pursue a new venture; the right way, the wrong way, and the grey way. I usually always took the grey way, sometimes even the wrong way. Rarely the right way. At some point in my career I took too many risks and thought it was all a big game with no consequences. I had totally lost the plot! There are always consequences to your actions. Ask yourself, is my next action worth the consequences?

Lesson #7

Utilize your time.

When you are incarcerated, you have two options, sleep through the experience or make the most of every minute of your day.

On the outside, we waste so much time. Time we could be spending with our loved ones, learning a new skill, or progressing our career. If you have the misfortune of being imprisoned, it’s a prime opportunity to use your time wisely so that upon your eventual release you exit those gates a better person.

The lesson for all of you is to open your eyes to the time you are wasting being unproductive.

I made myself a daily schedule which I followed rigidly. That included exercise, yoga, meditation, reading, learning Spanish and Russian and writing. I never watched TV. Any downtime was spent playing chess. If someone interrupted me during one of my study sessions they were met with a short aggressive response.

Don’t waste your time.

Lesson #8

Reinvent yourself.

Life is about constantly reinventing yourself. I had either forgotten that or hadn’t grasped the concept.

By reinventing yourself you are growing. In hindsight, prison was an opportunity for me to have a complete makeover. I didn’t welcome the experience at the time, but in retrospect it grounded me, allowed me to understand what really matters in life, constantly strive to bring happiness to those who I care about, and cherish my independence.

These eight lessons are not only applicable to those who find themselves in prison. They apply to all of us in our everyday lives. We all have time to correct our mistakes. Be grateful and make the most of every minute of your day.

I sat with my uncle and aunt for lunch a few weeks ago. I hadn’t seen them in over 10 years. As I was sipping my Bloody Mary through a straw my favorite auntie hit me with a sidewinder. “Do you regret what you did?” She asked me. I told her that I did. I also told her that if in two years time I was sitting having lunch with her and there was any hint that I had returned to my old ways, she had permission to slap me hard across the face. I would imagine, however, that if this event was to materialize, there would be a line of people desperate to get their hands on me first. Including myself!

Happy Monday!

PS. This is going to be my last article for a while. I appreciate y’all reading my weekly thoughts and indulging my rants. Until we meet again my friends.

Banner Image: Prison.  Image Credit – Larry Farr