Limitless Monday: Relationship Deal Breakers

Relationship deal breakers

Most of us who are in a relationship usually spend so much time complaining that we often think that we would be far better off single. Whether we are in a happy relationship or not, we should all be grateful for the life experience a relationship offers.

They say we are the sum of all the people we meet, therefore our partners are key to forming our personalities in both a good and bad way.

Given the opportunity of being in a relationship or single, I would always choose the former, with a caveat. You should avoid jumping into a new relationship immediately after the last one has ended. Leave a period of time to reflect and enjoy your freedom and independence. However, don’t leave it too long; there is nothing quite like a new relationship to take your mind off the last one.

It is this period of reflection that this week’s article is really about. What are some important lessons we have learned from our past relationships?

I think, based on the fact that we are the sum of all the people we spend the most time with, the quality of the people we choose to surround ourselves with is critical if we wish to thrive in life. That is why it is essential we avoid entering into relationships, including friendships, with people who display certain characteristics or red flags.

The following are 15 red flags which I believe are deal breakers in any relationship. There is usually no going back when one of these characteristics are displayed, and in my humble opinion, you should be looking for an opportune moment to exit by the side door when you witness first hand one of my 15 red flags.

Here are my 15 red flags in no particular order.

● Someone who refuses to divide the bill in equal portions when in a group, progressing to making a fuss about not eating or drinking as much as the others at the table. Someone who is mean with money, and I am talking about mean not careful, is someone best avoided.
● Someone who pounces on a Freudian slip, and attempts to start an argument or commence a character assassination based on a few poorly chosen, possibly insensitive words on your part. It’s called leakage, and we all do it.
● Someone who gets nasty, including violent, when drunk.
● Someone who becomes unpleasant when events or life in general are not going their way.
● Someone who becomes nasty in an argument.
● Someone who compares you to an ex in a bad way, for example, “My ex would never treat me like that!” “Good, you know what you can do then”, is a fair response, just before heading straight for that side door.
● Someone who shouts at you when you try to explain something to them in a reasonable manner.
● Someone who holds long grudges, including extended periods of silence or irritability.
● Someone who cheats on you – just one time. A polite, “Thank you for ensuring I don’t waste any more time here,” is an appropriate response, followed by packing his or her belongings and tossing them onto the street. Never accept second best.
● Someone who is negative, finding every possible opportunity to put you down.
● Someone who uses the phrase, “Told you so”.
● Someone who uses the phrase, “You should have…”.
● Someone who always speaks about themselves.
● Someone who’s motivation/ambitions don’t match yours.
● Someone who doesn’t let you get a word in edgewise.

It’s a long list, but each red flag is as important as the other.

Now, you may be asking, “What is motivational about this on a Monday morning? That long list has just depressed the hell out of me!”

And here is the rub. Life isn’t easy. You have to make some hard decisions if you want to have the life you desire and deserve. One of the most important decisions you will make is who you spend the majority of your time with.

If you continue to make the wrong decisions in this regard you will never optimize your potential. I want to finish with a phrase I heard the other day. “If you are the hero in your story, you wouldn’t be dating a loser”. Today I want you to remember you are the lead actor in your story.

Happy Monday!

Banner Image: Relationship. Image Credit – Oziel Gómez