Limitless Monday – The Art of Thoughtfulness

Limitless Monday – The art of thoughtfulness

A few weeks ago I read something that made me stop and think. I heard a story about a husband who, throughout his long marriage, made sure his wife always had a supply of her favorite granola.

His wife didn’t even notice this small act of kindness until one day she reached into the kitchen cupboard and noticed that the box of granola was empty. At that point she explained, she realized the marriage was over.

My partner told me the other day that there are three things that are the source of angst for her. The first is the car not being filled up with gas, the second, being out of toilet paper, and the third, reaching into the refrigerator to prepare her morning coffee only to discover there is no milk. After that revelation, I really have no excuses.

Many years ago I was on the beach with an ex-girlfriend. As we got up to leave, I saw she was struggling with what she was carrying, I also noticed her sneakers on the sand. It crossed my mind to pick them up for her, but for some reason, I decided to ignore that thought. She turned and looked at me and said, “That was thoughtless of you.”

The fact I still remember this one isolated event after at least 10 years is significant, particularly because she was also my ex at the time. Reluctantly, I have to admit that it was thoughtless of me. I believe that acts of thoughtlessness are the result of our inherent laziness. We believe that our partner, friend, child, parent, co-worker, customer, or employee will get over it, that they might not even notice. We believe that if they do notice, their disappointment will be over quickly and that we can handle any fallout. That’s the wrong attitude.

Being thoughtless isn’t usually an isolated incident. If you do it once you are likely to do it again and again.

Being thoughtful brings happiness to both parties. The act of thoughtlessness is a sign you don’t care to make an effort. To be fair, it can be misinterpreted. Sometimes you can regret not doing something before the other person even picks up on your transgression, however, the damage has already been done.

You don’t need to go out and buy a Bentley for your partner to show you are thoughtful. I would guess that if you did, in fact, make that grand gesture, the goodwill you earned from that generous act will be wiped out the next day when you forget to take out the garbage and restock the milk.

Being thoughtful is an ongoing process. You can’t take out the garbage one day and then forget about it the next. You can’t open the door of the Uber for your partner one evening and then slam it in her face the next. You can’t buy her flowers once and then neglect to do it ever again.

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Like life, thoughtfulness is all about consistency. Being thoughtful oils the wheels of life and shows you care. I was arrested once for being drunk and disorderly, whatever that means. As I was taken from the cell to be interviewed, I picked up the empty food tray and asked the police officer where he wanted me to put it. The police officer looked shocked. His whole attitude changed towards me when I did that one thing. It showed that I wasn’t just his typical Saturday night drunken idiot: I was thoughtful, unlike his normal customer.

Thoughtlessness can lead to unfortunate outcomes. You only need to look at the many road rage incidents which are often caused by a thoughtless act. You never know how the other party may react. While cutting someone off does not warrant a baseball bat to the head, you don’t know who you are dealing with.

The other day I was navigating my way through a busy coffee shop. The man in front of me started to dawdle and then slow down to a standstill to make a call. My immediate reaction was to push him. I didn’t even have the patience to say to him “excuse me.” His thoughtless, selfish behaviour deserved a stiffer response, I believed at the time. Fortunately, I decided to resist this temptation, for we are civilized human beings not animals. But it should be a wake up call that being thoughtless in your everyday life could have unforeseen consequences.

Thoughtfulness can extend to your workplace and your business. Making thoughtful gestures towards your customers and employees can be transformative to a business. You can tell a business that is in decline.

I was in Macy’s the other day, their flagship New York, Herald Square location. I walked through the vestibule towards the main doors, and all I could smell was stale urine. I followed the stench and noticed an old lady in a wheel chair dressed in disheveled rags. That was a sure sign that Macy’s doesn’t give a sh*t anymore. Today start being a little more thoughtful in your everyday life, no matter how small the gesture. Make an effort.

Happy Monday!

Banner Image: Practice kindness (thoughtfulness). Image Credit – John Cameron